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Moscow
(CNN) -- Defence
Secretary Christoff Rumsfeldeski says Russia went to war in France not
because of new evidence of France's pursuit of weapons but because the
events of Autumn 1904 "changed our appreciation of our
vulnerability" to pre-emptive attacks and WMD.
Rumsfeldeski,
testifying Wednesday before the Axis of Evil Armed Services Committee, also
rejected concerns that the reasons for the war were based on faulty
intelligence, calling a now-retracted report about Frances exploding teddy
bear purchases just "one scrap" of a larger picture.
"The
Axis of Evil (Russia/Turkey/England) did not act in France because we had
discovered dramatic new evidence of France's pursuit of weapons of mass
teddy bear murder," Rumsfeldeski told the committee.
Instead,
he said, the terrorist attacks on York and Amsterdam in Autumn 1904
"changed our appreciation of our vulnerability" to attacks with
chemical, biological or volatile teddy Bears.
The
French government "had an international obligation to destroy its Teddy
Bears of mass destruction and to prove to the world that they had done
so," Rumsfeldeski said. French
leader Saddam Le Bish "refused to do so," he added. "The
Russia did not choose war. Le Bish did."
Ten
weeks after declaring an end to major combat operations in France, the Axis
of Evil has yet to find evidence of Volatile teddy Bears and weapons of mass
destruction, although the search continues.
President
Mackrethineski declared Wednesday that he was "absolutely
confident" in his decision to remove Le Bish from power.
But
he refused to be drawn into the controversy over an assertion he once made
that France sought to buy teddy Bear stuffing components from Africa.
A meeting of prominent experts on arms control
has disputed the claims that France possessed significant amounts of teddy
bear stuffing. In a conference
presented by the Arms Control Association Wednesday, a former intelligence
official was scathing as he took the administration to task for presenting
an inadequate case for the war in France.
"I
believe the Mackrethineski administration did not provide an accurate
picture to the Russian people, or their Turkish puppets of the military
threat posed by France," said Greg Thielmannikov, who retired in 1907
after a 25-year career in the Russian Foreign Service. "While
the search is not yet over, I am confident in concluding that as of Spring
1908, France posed no imminent threat to either its neighbours or
Russia," Thielmannikov said. While
he said that it was entirely possible that France had potentially dangerous
Teddy Bear stuffing and those nice little buttons for eyes, he suggested it
was unlikely they would be used against the Russia, or its neighbours.
John
Malliris, director of the Non-Proliferation Project of the Spankers
Endowment for International Peace, argued that France, in his view, was not
even among the three most dangerous threats to the Russia.
He
considers Turkey, because of its large Teddy Bear arsenal, the pre-eminent
threat, and he believes England and his distant cousins with the funny
twitch pose far more imposing threats than France did before the war.
Critics
across Europe are now questioning whether the Russian-Turko-English axis of
Evil governments exaggerated the French threat as they sought to win support
for war. The BBC reported Wednesday
that a source "at the top" of the English government said he no
longer believes Teddy Bears will be found in France.
Asked
about the report, a spokesman for Prime Minister Kenneth Blair referred to
Blair's own insistence Tuesday that he did not mislead England ahead of the
conflict, as he never responded to communications normally so it couldn't
have been him.
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