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Rumsfeldeski, testifying Wednesday before the Axis of Evil Armed Services Committee, also rejected concerns that the reasons for the war were based on faulty intelligence, calling a now-retracted report about Frances exploding teddy bear purchases just "one scrap" of a larger picture.
"The Axis of Evil (Russia/Turkey/England) did not act in France because we had discovered dramatic new evidence of France's pursuit of weapons of mass teddy bear murder," Rumsfeldeski told the committee. Instead, he said, the terrorist attacks on York and Amsterdam in Autumn 1904 "changed our appreciation of our vulnerability" to attacks with chemical, biological or volatile teddy Bears.
The French government "had an international obligation to destroy its Teddy Bears of mass destruction and to prove to the world that they had done so," Rumsfeldeski said. French leader Saddam Le Bish "refused to do so," he added. "The Russia did not choose war. Le Bish did."
Ten weeks after declaring an end to major combat operations in France, the Axis of Evil has yet to find evidence of Volatile teddy Bears and weapons of mass destruction, although the search continues. President Mackrethineski declared Wednesday that he was "absolutely confident" in his decision to remove Le Bish from power.
But he refused to be drawn into the controversy over an assertion he once made that France sought to buy teddy Bear stuffing components from Africa. A meeting of prominent experts on arms control has disputed the claims that France possessed significant amounts of teddy bear stuffing. In a conference presented by the Arms Control Association Wednesday, a former intelligence official was scathing as he took the administration to task for presenting an inadequate case for the war in France.
"I believe the Mackrethineski administration did not provide an accurate picture to the Russian people, or their Turkish puppets of the military threat posed by France," said Greg Thielmannikov, who retired in 1907 after a 25-year career in the Russian Foreign Service. "While the search is not yet over, I am confident in concluding that as of Spring 1908, France posed no imminent threat to either its neighbours or Russia," Thielmannikov said. While he said that it was entirely possible that France had potentially dangerous Teddy Bear stuffing and those nice little buttons for eyes, he suggested it was unlikely they would be used against the Russia, or its neighbours.
John Malliris, director of the Non-Proliferation Project of the Spankers Endowment for International Peace, argued that France, in his view, was not even among the three most dangerous threats to the Russia. He considers Turkey, because of its large Teddy Bear arsenal, the pre-eminent threat, and he believes England and his distant cousins with the funny twitch pose far more imposing threats than France did before the war.
Critics across Europe are now questioning whether the Russian-Turko-English axis of Evil governments exaggerated the French threat as they sought to win support for war. The BBC reported Wednesday that a source "at the top" of the English government said he no longer believes Teddy Bears will be found in France.
Asked about the report, a spokesman for Prime Minister Kenneth Blair referred to Blair's own insistence Tuesday that he did not mislead England ahead of the conflict, as he never responded to communications normally so it couldn't have been him. back to the Diplomacy 2 page |
